My Corona Woes Part 4 - The Microdose

Just Livin' Jenny #18

Words for Just Livin’ Jenny: The Microdose Comic:

I resolved to take the mushroom micro dose as soon as I could, to help me deal with my grief. From by break up with newly anointed true love.

But I had to wait.

First I had to drive my 94 year old dad to follow up appointments after his minor hernia surgery. . .  

Thought bubble: Gee, maybe I can get my meditation out of the way in the VA waiting room?

And engage in meaningful conversations

Dad: Say, can you help me with my ipad? I’m not finding my emails?

Me: thought: remember to be grateful for the moment

Me: sure what’s your Hotmail password again?

Dad: sorry to hear about you and sue. I thought this was a serious relationship?

Me: so did I.

Dad: you must be quite upset at this

Me: yes it’s very painful

Dad: you looked very happy together

Me: I thought so too. Anyway, did you see the facebook whistleblower on 60 minutes?

Dad: this mark Zuckerberg. He helped spread trump’s poison.

dad: why would a nice jewish boy do such a thing?

Dad: I’m missing my seated Zumba class

Me: I’m sorry

Dad: I never thought I would live to be 94.

Me: you’re almost 95

Finally on Saturday I drove out to the coast to do my micro dose. I ate two little caps as instructed by my ex-husband. And went for a walk on the grounds of common wheel.

While my friend Kiki picked mushrooms

Thought bubble: Just allow whatever is there to arise

Narration Words: what was clear is that the mushrooms didn’t want me to wallow in pain over my loss of sue.

Mushrooms: don’t wallow. Be in the moment. It’s much more interesting to be here and now!

Is saw an image of sue as a person who was disconnected.

Her head is making decisions.

Her body feels pleasure and pain.

Her head was cut off from her body. They were not attached.

Maybe that’s why she was able to walk away from me, when I felt so much.

She’s detached.

I lay on the ground for a long time.

Thought: I’m just one small piece of this universe.

And when I sat up: I saw the leaves and tiny weed all around me pointing towards the sun.

That’s how they grow.

The way to grow is to face toward the sun.  to face what is in front of you

Thought: Sue’s not in front of me. she’s confused.

There are many things that are in front of me.

Thought: I just need to love what’s in front of me

It all goes back to the simple tenants of living a fierce life.

Why would I, or anyone, put up with the many limitations that had been offered?

I prepared to live out the entire day with rigor. I would not fall victim to the many brain passageways where I got stuck ruminating in a loop of self defeating perceptions.